Recently I read an article called 5 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Date Someone in Your Major, and while it brought up some good points, I think it’s important to look at the other side of the argument.
First of all, last time I updated any of you on my personal life was, like, 3 years ago or something and I had just been broken up with by a chemical engineering student who, honestly, I thought was the love of my life (plot twist: he wasn’t). I took some time for me and tried my hardest to just love me for me, to enjoy spending time with myself, to get to know me.
Someone once told me that you can’t expect someone else to love you unconditionally if you can’t even love yourself. So I took that to heart and tried my best to live my life accordingly. I took myself on dates, I read books, I watched shows solely because I wanted to watch them. It was amazing.
I flirted with a few guys, almost dated one or two of them, fell hard for them, but ultimately done of them were who I needed. Turns out, the right guy for me had been sitting in my classes for a year and a half.
If you watch shows like Grey’s Anatomy, their dating pool is their coworkers, end of story. They spend so much time wrapped up in their jobs and in the hospital that it’s inevitable they’ll end up dating someone they work with. Honestly, engineering school for me was kind of similar.
Don’t get me wrong, I know plenty of engineers who are dating accountants or med students or elementary school teachers, which is awesome. But that wasn’t for me.
This article that I read lists a few reasons as to why you shouldn’t date someone in your major, the first of which is that someone else will always be able to teach you something. What I’ve discovered is that it doesn’t matter if you have different majors or not, you’ll learn something new from your person if they feel comfortable with you, if they can share their passions with you. And sometimes, when you share those passions, it lets you learn together.
Lucas and I technically met freshman year of college at a basketball game (that I was attending with my boyfriend at the time). Sophomore year, we had Thermo together and he definitely didn’t like me. I wasn’t aware of him enough to know anything else.
So then we got to junior year. Lucas started a rocketry team, and somehow my friend Nick got me out of bed at 7:00am on a Saturday to go watch some people I barely knew launch some rockets. I had always been fascinated by rockets (hello, how can October Sky not do that to a person?), so that was honestly one of the best Saturdays of my college career.
I also got to see Lucas in his element. I love rockets, but rockets are his passion. This was the first time he and I ever really interacted outside of “hey, how are you today?” in classes where we sat near each other. I fell in love (with rockets, not with him – yet).
Anyways, it took until March for me to finally admit to myself that I liked this guy. I had this rule, and this rule was that I can’t date anyone in my major. I didn’t want things to get awkward in class if we had to work together or, worst case, broke up.
But in May, he asked me on a date. A real one. He picked me up, he held open doors, he paid for dinner. We talked about our families, I spilled my water. Then we got snowcones and held hands once we finished them.
Wow, I’m getting off topic. Anyway, here are 5 reasons why you should date someone in your major (or at least not rule it out):
1. They will understand your passions better.
I like airplanes more than rockets. Lucas likes rockets more than airplanes. But he knows about airplanes, and I know about rockets. So when he talks about various components of a rocket motor, or I talk about the finicky elevons on my delta wing, we get each other. And I get to see the way his eyes light up the same way, whether he’s talking about rockets or I’m the one talking about airplanes.
2. They get it when you complain about a professor.
They’ve been there, they’ve sat through the unfair grading or the speeches about “subordinate engineers,” and they’re on your side here. There’s no “well maybe you’re just being too hard on them” because they know for sure how evil the professor is.
3. You have friends that overlap.
There won’t be any “let’s hang out with my friends tonight and your friends tomorrow night” because chances are your circles overlap enough that you can hang out with both sets of friends. But if you came from the same major and not the same friend group, chances are you’ll also have some friends that don’t overlap, so the whole “I want a life outside of my relationship” thing can still be a thing.
4. They understand your time commitments when it comes to studying.
There’s a big difference between how much people study and how they study when they’re in different majors. A biology student may study just as long as an engineering student, but how they study will be different. An architect and an engineer may study in the same way, but the architect will study longer. An education major may study the same amount as a biology major, but it will be in ways that look completely different. Dating someone in your major means they know you study, and they can even study with you.
5. You get to share the best years of your life with your best friend.
When you date someone in your major, your best friend and your person are by your side through all the ups and all the downs of college life. They’re there when you’re awake at 3:00am finishing a homework assignment, they’re there when you’re crying because you actually managed to get a B on the test you thought for sure you were going to fail. While you will always get to share the little victories with your significant other, sometimes it helps when they’re right there, no matter what.
Now, don’t read this and say “Sam says I have to date someone in my major, but they all suck.” They probably do all suck. All the guys in my major suck (to me), except for one. I got lucky. But I found the person worth breaking my own personal rule for.
You probably have your own rules for yourself (i.e. no girls over 5’10” or no guys you meet at the bar), but hopefully this helps you start to look past your rules and see the person for who they are, or something cheesy like that.